My friend Marcy has the innate ability to intimidate people. She is a beautiful 5’8” blonde attending law school. She is aware of having this effect on people, but neither of us truly understands why. While other people see the surface, I have seen her trip over her own feet and know that she occasionally enjoys cold marinara as a salad dressing. This makes her far less intimidating to me. Where others are intimidated by her appearance, I know that there is a health portion of inner dork beneath the surface.
As a server, you must be aware of your intimidation factor. There are most likely traits that you have which will intimidate your guests and create hostility. While you cannot change these, you need to be able to counterbalance them by relating to your guests in a way that overcomes them. Remember the third rule of serving: generic servers receive generic tips. The key to winning over a hostile guest is to not be a generic server by showing that you are professional, human, and similar to them.
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