How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Three)

(Note: in order to get the most out of this post you should read parts one and two.  They create the foundation for this summary post and will be referenced frequently.)

My friend Marcy has the innate ability to intimidate people.  She is a beautiful 5’8” blonde attending law school.  She is aware of having this effect on people, but neither of us truly understands why.  While other people see the surface, I have seen her trip over her own feet and know that she occasionally enjoys cold marinara as a salad dressing.  This makes her far less intimidating to me.  Where others are intimidated by her appearance, I know that there is a health portion of inner dork beneath the surface.

As a server, you must be aware of your intimidation factor.  There are most likely traits that you have which will intimidate your guests and create hostility.  While you cannot change these, you need to be able to counterbalance them by relating to your guests in a way that overcomes them.  Remember the third rule of serving: generic servers receive generic tips.  The key to winning over a hostile guest is to not be a generic server by showing that you are professional, human, and similar to them.

Read the full post at Tips For Improving Your Tips

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About David Hayden

David Hayden is a restaurant marketing and training consultant based in Kansas City, MO. He writes a series of 9 blogs collectively known as The Hospitality Formula Network and is the author of "Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips" and "Building Your Brand With Facebook"

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  • http://yellowcat413.wordpress.com yellowcat

    I know I’m intimidating and I have no idea why. I’m short, round and tend to trip over my feet a lot. I try to give off a professional air, but there is a fine line between professional and unapproachable. I never thought about any of the suggestions you gave about relating to the table. It would be easy to start a conversation on events or likes without being invasive. I’ll give it a try!

  • Emily

    I hope I’m intimidating. “Fuck with me, I’ll break your legs” is what I’d like people to think when they see me come up to the table. Especially at happy hour.

  • Emily

    furthermore, why do we get quilt squares if we don’t have pictures?