How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Two)

By David Hayden on November 24, 2010 in Restaurant Management Training, Training Restaurant Staff

Like the old saying, "you catch more fly honeys with vinegar..." or something like that.

Years ago I had the good fortune of working for a man named John Maria. I have had many bosses over the years, but none had a better fundamental understanding of human nature than John. One day he gave me a book and told me to read it. He said the answer to almost every life problem was found in this book. It was a pretty bold claim, but I did learn a great deal from reading the book.

I pulled out the book recently and read the chapter regarding this topic. The book is called, “Get Anyone To Do Anything” by David J. Lieberman, PhD. While the title is a bit of hyperbole (hence me writing this blog rather than living in Bill Gates’ mansion with Alyssa Milano) there is a great deal of wisdom in it. Dr Lieberman gives incredible insight into human nature and how to use it to your advantage.

Read the full story at Tips For Improving Your Tips

About David Hayden

David Hayden is a restaurant marketing and training consultant based in Kansas City, MO. He writes a series of 9 blogs collectively known as The Hospitality Formula Network and is the author of "Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips" and "Building Your Brand With Facebook"

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How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part One)

How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Three)

Becky

I didn’t even know I was using Lieberman’s philosophy and techniques – this stuff just comes naturally to me, I guess. I can do the opposite easily as well.

Once I was at the party of a friend of my husband’s and I noticed a guy sitting away from the rest of the partiers, all wallflowerish. I went over, sat down with him, struck up a conversation and we were soon laughing and talking about interests we had in common. I suggested we join the rest of the group and he agreed.

The host (I found out later) remarked to my husband that I had brought the guy into the fold pretty deftly and my husband said this: “Becky can make you feel at home in a strange place or like a stranger in your own home.” We laughed about it later because it’s very true. It takes some doing to piss me off, but once I am, get outta the way. On the other hand, I’ve watched as I helped people feel totally at ease (we get a LOT of out-of-towners from the hotel next door) sitting at a bar in an unfamiliar city and have heard from more than one of them how friendly our town is, comparitively.

If you want to make someone feel at home, I have two magic words: Lingua franca. It’s the bartender’s best friend. Here’s the definition I refer to, the third from Merriam Webster:

3: something resembling a common language
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